Bismillah ir-Rahman ir-Raheem
Lately my heart have been thinking about many subjects and oddily
enough the big "P" has been one of them!
I'll start by saying I am not 100% opposed to
Polgany nor am I 100% with it!
I know its one of the many blessings
Allah subhanahu wa Ta'ala
has ordained for us and our hubbies but my heart is not into it.
I am not in a polganist marriage but my mind is concentrating on this
because many of the friends I grew up with are in Polganist marriage and I just wonder how.
Maybe I'm selfish and I only want my husband for myself but
at the same time I also want for my sister what I want for myself but why does it have to be my husband?
Of course I want my sisters in Islam to be happy and fulfilled but just not with my husband
A sister I live across the street from was talking about just getting married and the brother she
married was already married?!
i wanted to ask her did she know he was already married but I did not because it's not my concern.
Yes I was very happy for her and said alhamdulillah wa masha'allah but still
my brain was filled with many questions?
Then out of the blue she asked me how I felt about Polagny and I expressed my opinions on it and she said
she felt the same way and never could truly know if she would ever
be able to share her husband?!?
Right then and there I knew she didn't know he was married and my heart was sad for her
I felt mortified at the thought of him deceivng her and the other woman how could he
but still I kept my mouth shut and said nothing!
Many times the hubbier have said he'll never take on a 2nd, 3rd or 4th wife!
and many times I have believed him he has never lied to me but
how could he speak upon something he does not truly have control over?
Yes I want him all to myself and I don't want no one else to have him
but I also don't want him to feel like I'll leave him if he does decides that he wants to take on a co-wife only
Allah subhanahu wa Ta'ala
knows what's best for us for he is the ever-knowing therefore mankind
can never say what he'll do or not do.
Long before we were married I expressed my feelings to him on Polgany
but now that I'm growing up and I see myself changing before my very eyes and I feel
myself getting closer to my rabb and what he has prescribed for us alhamdulillah
I am not trying to disrespect anyone in any type of way this is only my beliefes and how I feel.
May Allah bless the sisters that are stong enough to deal with a co-wife
because you are doing what your lord ordained for you to do masha'allah.
maybe that's it maybe I'm not strong enough to have another woman having dealings
with my husband and doing things for him that I should be doing
I don't want another woman feeding him when he comes home from work
I don't want another woman touching him
I don't even like other woman looking at him he's MINE!
insha'allah if this was to ever be a major factor in my life
Allah subhanahu wa Ta'ala
will make it easy for me and everyone involved.!
Lately my heart have been thinking about many subjects and oddily
enough the big "P" has been one of them!
I'll start by saying I am not 100% opposed to
Polgany nor am I 100% with it!
I know its one of the many blessings
Allah subhanahu wa Ta'ala
has ordained for us and our hubbies but my heart is not into it.
I am not in a polganist marriage but my mind is concentrating on this
because many of the friends I grew up with are in Polganist marriage and I just wonder how.
Maybe I'm selfish and I only want my husband for myself but
at the same time I also want for my sister what I want for myself but why does it have to be my husband?
Of course I want my sisters in Islam to be happy and fulfilled but just not with my husband
A sister I live across the street from was talking about just getting married and the brother she
married was already married?!
i wanted to ask her did she know he was already married but I did not because it's not my concern.
Yes I was very happy for her and said alhamdulillah wa masha'allah but still
my brain was filled with many questions?
Then out of the blue she asked me how I felt about Polagny and I expressed my opinions on it and she said
she felt the same way and never could truly know if she would ever
be able to share her husband?!?
Right then and there I knew she didn't know he was married and my heart was sad for her
I felt mortified at the thought of him deceivng her and the other woman how could he
but still I kept my mouth shut and said nothing!
Many times the hubbier have said he'll never take on a 2nd, 3rd or 4th wife!
and many times I have believed him he has never lied to me but
how could he speak upon something he does not truly have control over?
Yes I want him all to myself and I don't want no one else to have him
but I also don't want him to feel like I'll leave him if he does decides that he wants to take on a co-wife only
Allah subhanahu wa Ta'ala
knows what's best for us for he is the ever-knowing therefore mankind
can never say what he'll do or not do.
Long before we were married I expressed my feelings to him on Polgany
but now that I'm growing up and I see myself changing before my very eyes and I feel
myself getting closer to my rabb and what he has prescribed for us alhamdulillah
I am not trying to disrespect anyone in any type of way this is only my beliefes and how I feel.
May Allah bless the sisters that are stong enough to deal with a co-wife
because you are doing what your lord ordained for you to do masha'allah.
maybe that's it maybe I'm not strong enough to have another woman having dealings
with my husband and doing things for him that I should be doing
I don't want another woman feeding him when he comes home from work
I don't want another woman touching him
I don't even like other woman looking at him he's MINE!
insha'allah if this was to ever be a major factor in my life
Allah subhanahu wa Ta'ala
will make it easy for me and everyone involved.!
4 comments:
Assalamuialaykum,
MashAllah I like your blog and how you keep it real, no sugar coating things. Thanks for following my blog, InshAllah I'll be posting soon
Masha'allah, this was really good.
I am no where near ready for marriage but I honestly feel the same way.
Assalam-alaikam Sis,
this is an issue that is very difficult to think rationally about for me. My other half is my life and the thought of him taking another wife is not something I have the strength of iman to handle. maybe this is because I am of South Asian background and there isn't really a tradition of Polygany in that part of the world.
I think it's natural to feel this way, even the beloved Prophet's (PBUH) wives used to have difficulties with this issue at times - the only reason many of us can deal with this is because Islam teaches us to rise above our needs and desires to do what is right.
I think I would defo have told the sister that was wanting to marry the brother. I would have kicked up a hell of a fuss - Polygany should be enacted openly and with all the parties involved being truthful with each other.
Wa Alaikum Salaam
Umm Salihah I understand what you are saying 100%. Far as the sister I did not want to get involved in anyone's business who am I to just come out and say well he's already married? ALthough I want to REALLY bad I was taught to never concern yourself with something that isn't concerned about you and frankly her business is her and I'm not going to meedle in it although I would love to tell her I can not find it in me.
Even thoughits killing me not to tell her lol
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